Just a few hours ago, I had lunch with His Holiness the Dalai Lama at St. Martin de Porres in San Francisco. I had the honor of being invited and then the awesome privilege of being seated at the same table. I was elated, happy, my heart was palpitating. I kept staring at him…is that really him? My mind would drift off to other places, thinking how incredible this was, a dream come true. (I’d wanted to meet this great spiritual leader, this Living Buddha; or simply attend one of his public lectures. A few years ago he spoke at New York's Central Park, I volunteered for the Richard Gere Foundation and put up posters around town, etc. As it turned out I could not attend the event because my last living uncle past away in Texas. Again in New York, while hosting a workshop at the New School, several Ford Foundation colleagues got up and whispered in my ear that they had to go because they were attending a private luncheon with the Dalai Lama; I almost died!)
As he entered St. Martin’s, I had to use the Buddhist technique of coming back to the breath to remain present, and then looking into his eyes and admiring his smiling face, his jolliness and laughing at his jokes and quick wit...not to mention his presence...he is definitely is there for you, with you...that kept my full attention and awareness on him. I felt joyous, happy, lucky, chosen, admired---cameras keep flashing everywhere and all eyes were of course on our table.
He told us--mostly a group of homeless men and women and those volunteers that serve us soup daily at St. Martin's the importance of human dignity. He said there is no shame in being homeless, that we should feel part of human society, part of the community of 6 billion people. He talked about a remote place in India, called Nako where many people with disabilities live. He told the story of a man with only two fingers handling a hammer and how much anxiety it caused him to see this man hammer away even more fervently at his carpentry---because of course he was doing so in front of the Dalai Lama.....he expressed....”oh this caused me such anxiety” in his deep, sweet Tibetan accented and enunciated voice. He advised us to look at life from many different perspectives, different angles. He picked up a slice a bread, "like this piece of bread, from this angle it looks one way----as he turned it round---from this angle looks different and so on." This is how you should approach life. From one angle, one is homeless....one has to leave home and that may be sad, but from a different perspective it also provides you with many new and different opportunities. You eventually find a new home. He said "home is where you feel most comfortable" and where you will find a new family and new friends, much as you have done so here (at St. Martin's). At one point, he exclaimed, “I myself am homeless”, I had to leave Tibet at a very young age (after the Chinese invasion of Tibet in 1950), and now I have found a wonderful new home and incredible new opportunities to help my people that otherwise might not have been possible. (Dalai Lamas, these spiritual leaders, mostly stayed in Tibet, secluded in Lhasa, and most of the world did not even know they existed. The 14th Dalai Lama has traveled the world over and has made numerous friends, allies, and brought many new followers to his cause of Tibetan freedom from Chinese rule and to the growth of Buddhism in the West.)
He spoke of preferring to eat with ordinary, innocent people (if he only knew!!). He said being with us at St. Martin's reminded him of his childhood in Tibet. His mother being a giving, kind person, should a guest drop by, offered what little there was in the home with great kindness. (He later made me quite sad when he spoke of the importance of mothers in building the first inkling of compassion in children, their first nurturing and warmth and how important that is in a child's life and in later years. I thought of how my father had to play both roles, mother and father, after my mother abandoned us, and how in his manner he taught me about compassion....but also instilled in me pride....which can sometimes get in the way of compassion and humility.) He talked about living in the Potola (one of the Dalai Lama’s two palaces--one for Summer and one for Winter), and how much he rather enjoyed sharing a meal with the person who swept the floors than other Lamas, much the same wauy he prefers sharing a meal with ordinary, innocent people who are without the pretenses that rich people, educated people, "high" people have; their every move can seem calculated....”for instance, even if they are starving, they will not touch their food!" he said. As I watched him eat, I could not help but notice that he ate in the same down to earth, unpretentious manner in which he approached the guests at our table and St. Martin's as a whole. He was one of us. He said and gestured raising his hand, “In Buddhism, the greatest gift you can give someone is in person, directly.” “When I was in the Potola, I could make donations to poor people, but it had to be through other people. When I was in Lhasa, in the streets, I could also give something, but again, it had to be through someone else. So he turned to the group and said, "so I very much appreciate you providing me with the opportunity to do this." He had served several individual plates of pesto pasta and salad to our guests at St. Martin’s before sitting at our table. Apparently he was also excited at the idea of wearing an apron!
To be quite honest, I think he did not know what to make of me. His first glance at me was an odd one. I was seated alone at the head table, he was making the rounds having just entered and he had stopped at the first table and asked a young man a few questions to which he quietly and shyly responded (someone exclaimed he is not usually so shy your Holiness!) ...I was also awestruck and speechless and when he turned to me at my lonely table he sort of made a funny look, bent over and moved in closer yet keeping his distance and uttered "um" in a very inquisitive way, almost childlike manner, bowed his head and moved on. I simply smiled bowed my head in return and namasted to him, all the while fighting the instinct to run over a shake his hand.
The conversation at our table was animated, joyous and filled with laughter. Barbara, the organizer of the event, held his hand the entire time as would a proud young daughter hold on to her wise grandfather. At one point I asked him if he had met or spoken to President Obama and he replied that he would not have the opportunity to do so on this trip, they had no plans to go to D.C., but that he would return in October to meet with the President and friends in Washington. I responded how interesting, you visited with President George Bush on October 18 of 2007. (Don’t ask me why I remember this date, actually there is a reason having to do with the number 18 and its importance in Asian astrology) He gave me an inquisitive look, repeated October, turned for a second and murmured something to his attendant and translator, then returned his attention to our table and blared out "I love George Bush!" At which point I almost choked on my food--a woman behind me said she knew the hemlock maneuver should I need it! Indeed, everyone, including the tables nearest us and the press howled in laughter. He continued, "Yes, I love George Bush, he is a good human being, he is a very direct person; but his policies are quite a different matter." The gentleman next to me showed him a picture of Archbishop Desmond Tutu and asked when they would meet again. He responded “ahh” and called Desmond Tutu his brother, that they always joked together and teased each other. He said Tutu calls him "mischievous Dalai Lama, naughty Dalai Lama" shaking his finger in the air. He talked about an international meeting of religious leaders at which both were present. They were getting in line for lunch and as Desmond Tutu was in front of him, he grabbed him by the neck at which point Tutu suddenly turned round and yelled "the Dalai Lama is trying to kill me!" Again the crowd lost it! I am losing it now as I write this, it brings warm feelings to my heart and goose bumps to my skin.
The day I was secretly told that I was invited to lunch with his Holiness, I burst into tears, tears of joy and happiness; I was elated. Over the next two days, in my vanity, I pondered what should I wear? What does one wear to meet a living Buddha? Should I wear the clothes I wear when I recycle and push my shopping cart, or should I dress up a bit? At lunch I told the Dalai Lama that I had put on this three piece suit and some jewelry that I found while recycling in order to make a point about homelessness and living on the street, and how fortunate I felt to have found these items. I have always found it amazing what people discard and how the streets can usually provide you with what you need. (I have recently found two ipods, some gold jewelry and a genuine jade bracelet.)
After the luncheon, I looked in the mirror at Martin’s and it looked like the Holy Spirit descended upon me, my face was beaming and I felt a genuine love of mankind, I was filled with joy, uplifted and it showed. I had fun. I had a great time at that table. People have asked me "so is he is a living Buddha?" I don’t know the answer to that question, but I do know he is the most genuine and authentic person I have ever come in contact with in my life. To me, for me, he is a great spiritual leader without pretense, a saint--there is something mystical about him, he is also simply a human being, a "real" human being—a modest Buddhist monk as he likes to put it. Given what life has thrown at him and his people, it amazes me that he manages to maintain a sense of humor and compassion for his enemies even now.
At the end of the short question and answer session my friend Charles asked him, “will you come back as the 15th? At which point his Holiness chuckled and quickly said, “That I do not know!”
To see AP photos of the event, please scroll to bottom of blog
